Quiet now, endure the tremor of a hope that's growing deep inside

Sometimes, the lyrics of a song can express my emotions so much more adequately than my words ever would.

Today is one of those days. Take a listen to the song New Earth by Zerbin

Fuck yeah, we're back in business!

FUCK YEAH! WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS!!!!!!!

I'm a *wee* bit excited

Estrogen is down to 2900.

So the plan is:
1) 100 units of follistim and 1 vial of menopur tonight
2) ganirelix in the morning, blood draw tomorrow morning
3) Pending blood work results, 100+75 again on Thursday
4)  ultrasound + bloodwork on Friday, and as long as my estrogen stays in check, we'll either be triggering on Friday or Saturday for a Sunday or  Monday egg retrieval. egg retrieval sometime Sunday or Monday.


I'm just praying I have enough good eggs to make this happen!

Cancelled. Maybe. Or not. Who knows

So Monday was the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

45 follies around 10mm.

And then my E2's spiked- from 715 on Saturday to 3200 on Monday.

My RE called and told me he wanted to cancel my cycle.

I gave in, I gave up. And then a dear internet friend of mine (Hey MaitaiBeth!) told me to call him back and fight to coast.

So I called back. He told me it was useless with follies this small. I told him I'd rather try and fail then not try at all.

So he agreed to let me coast for 48 hours on ganirelix.

Just got back from my scan. 3 follies at 16, 5 more at 14/15, and a handful more in the 12-13 range. And of course too numerous to count still hanging out at 10mm.


So now I wait for my bloodwork. If my E2s have stayed below 4500 or so, he's going to let me keep going this cycle. If they spiked, I'm benched until January at the very least.


I want off this rollercoaster

Now I know how the chicken feels...

Had my scan this morning

45 follies between 10mm and 13mm.


Oh, and the sonographer mentioned there are probably more that she can't count.


Since they're growing slow our ER and ET have been pushed back a few days, but I'm thinking it will probably happen this weekend.

I'm also still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I potentially have 45 follies in play.


I'm just waiting on a response from my clinic to see if we're adding in the ganirelix tomorrow

The Dreaded 2WW

So before IVF started, I did a lot of googling, and I came across an amazing blog called With Great Expectation. She had an AWESOME timeline of what happens each day post transfer. I've adapted it a bit, since I'm doing a 2 day transfer.

DPT= Days Past Transfer

1DPT: Embryo is growing and developing

2DPT: Embryo is growing and developing 

3DPT: Embryo is now a blastocyst 

4DPT: Blastocyst hatches out of shell

5DPT: Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining

6 DPT: Implantation begins as the blastocyst begins to bury into the lining

7DPT: Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper into lining

8 DPT: Morula is completed implanted in the lining and has placenta cells and fetal cells 

9DPT: Placenta cells begin to secrete HCG into the blood

10DPT: More HCG is produced as the fetus develops

11 DPT: More HCG is produced as the fetus develops 

12 DPT: HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on a pregnancy test* 

*12DPT= 14 DPO, which is when most doctors schedule a beta. However, I plan on testing out the trigger and will probably test starting around 10DPT (12dpo)


It's so cool that I'll know exactly what's going on each day though. We're still on track for an estimated retrieval of 11/13... it's so close!

I've officially lost it- I bought shit catchers

**** TRIGGER WARNING****

*** Pictures of baby purchases below***

Don't read if you're having a rough IF day

I warned you



********************
*******************
****************
***********
*********
******
****
**
*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
*********
***********
*************
***************
*****************
********************

I am now the proud owner of 7 no-brand shit catchers.

I don't know why I do this to myself.

I just hope that we have a tiny butt to put in all the fluff next year...

If not, I guess I can resell them on eBay. I got them for a steal- 7 pockets for $19.50 including shipping.

Exhaustion

I forgot how exhausting these meds are. Not just the process of getting everything ready to inject... but the side effects as well.

I can barely stay up past 9:00 most nights. Which means I'm failing at my volunteer obligations, my social life, and my job.

It's a struggle for me to function after 7PM. My husband, bless him, has been driving me to/from work so that I'm safe. He's been driving me several hours each weekend to visit the students I advise. He's been running all of our errands, doing all of our housework, and cooking me dinner every night.

I love this man.

I hate what IF has done to me.