It's like I can't focus

I'm worse than a kid on Christmas eve
Or someone in a room of puppies

I've got the period poops (and my customary yeast infection) that signals the onset of my period... and yet AF won't show up.

My IVF meds are all ordered (or donated- THANK YOU!) and the hubby is putting the finishing touches on a couple of remodeling projects.

13 days


13... freaking days.... until we start stims

This time next month I could very well have my BFP. This time next month I could very well be PUPO (That's pregnant unless proven otherwise).

Next month.

NEXT MONTH

Next month is the month that I WILL become a mother. Next month is when the last 36 months of tears, heartbreak, loss, and frustration will all be worth it.

And I can't wait.

I can't wait for this time next year. Optimistic me may have bought a few things at Disney for Future Fetus Dreamer. I may have spent our trip dreaming about taking the baby(ies) to Disney for their first time next fall- in the magical time between Halloween and Christmas at Disney. It would be the very end of my Maternity leave, and it would be perfect!

The cart at this point is about 10 miles up the road from the horse. Shit, at this point we haven't even BOUGHT the horse yet, but the cart is there. That's how optimistic I'm remaining.


This is the single most stressful time at work. I'm combating it by making sure I take long walks around the office every 45 minutes, scheduling time on my breaks to meditate, and I have an AWESOME tea nook set up in my office. I'll have to snag a picture of it. It's fantastic.