An Introduction

I've been thinking about starting this blog for quite some time, and with recent developments, I've decided there is no time like the present.

A brief history of us

My husband and I were married in August 2011 in Bermuda after learning that my father had cancer. Originally they said it was no big deal, but we weren't willing to take the risk of Dad not being there. It was the best decision ever. He died just over a year later.


At the annual appointment with my OB, we decided it was time for an endometrial biopsy. The results weren't great, but they weren't terrible. My lining was classified as simple endometrial hyperplasia, and I was started on 90 days of provera to hopefully put my endocrine system in check. The hope was that at my follow up biopsy, all would look good, and I'd be ready to move on to fertility treatments.

Unfortunately, that would not come to pass either. My second biopsy looked worse than the first, being classed as complex endometrial hyperplasia. From here, I have a D&C and hysteroscopy scheduled, followed by further hormone treatments if no evidence of cancer is seen.

This is not the happily ever after we imagined, and there are many days that I start off shouting EFF YOU UTE!

This journey isn't going to be puppies and rainbows, but my faith will guide me and DH on our journey to become parents.

I hope you'll stick around for the good, the bad, and the ugly

Why you NEED an RE, NOT an OB for Infertility Treatment

My second biopsy appointment was an experience I will never forget. I went armed with a notebook of knowledge that I gleaned from the 3T board, and questions I had for my OB regarding her plans for my infertility treatment. She had talked a good talk at my first appointment about monitoring and making sure I didn’t over-stimulate, so I was excited to prove the 3T ladies wrong with a big “HA- Look at how awesome my OB is.

Instead, I realized that while she is a great OB, she is completely ignorant when it comes to the diagnosis and treatment of infertility. Our conversation went like this:

Me: so what are the steps from here?

OB: Well, we need to get you ovulating. So as long as the biopsy looks good, we'll start you on Clomid after your flow arrives.

                I knew from the 3T board that starting clomid without testing is a big no-no.

Me: Will we do any testing first?

OB: That is unnecessary

Red Flag: Totally necessary! The clomid won’t do jack for me if my tubes are blocked. No point in going through all of this is the eggs can’t get to where they need to be!

Me: But what about an HSG for me and a SA for DH?

OB: Those aren't necessary at this point in the process. Again, we want to do minimal cost  first. There's no reason for that much testing this soon. You're worrying too much.  We will do an ultrasound on Day 14 to see how you are responding.

Red Flag: OB’s can talk the talk and make it sound like they are “monitoring” clomid cycles to people who are not educated on what true monitoring looks like

Me: But no CD 3 ultrasound? What if there are cysts?

OB: That's normally not an issue.

Red flag: Cysts can be a HUGE issue, and starting a cycle with cysts can cause irreparable damage to your tubes

Me: But what if there *are* cysts, since you said I have PCOS tendencies- I'd prefer to not end up in the ER with a very large cyst rupturing.

OB: It's not our normal protocol. That's a lot of money that doesn't need to be spent. 

Red Flag: It’s worth it to me! It’s my health we are talking about. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

Me: But what if I have a blocked tube? The Clomid won't do me any good

OB: That's probably not your issue

Red Flag: The OB has never even done an internal diagnostic such as an HSG. It’s highly presumptuous to say that I don’t have a blocked tube.

Me: But what if it is- how do you know it's not, and I don't want to waste one of my 6 cycles of Clomid

OB: The "6 cycles of Clomid" is a myth. As long as you respond well, there's no max

Most doctors agree that more than 6 cycles of clomid can lead to incredibly thin lining making pregnancy nearly impossible to achive, and there is conflicting evidence with a possible cancer link.

Me: My biggest concern is thinning my lining

OB: Research shows that a thin lining has no effect on achieving a pregnancy

                That’s a flat out lie!

Me: But what about bloodwork and an SA?

OB: The SA isn't necessary- you're clearly not ovulating

Me: but what if we're in the 30% of couples who are dealing with issues from both of us, again, I'd prefer to not waste time and resources if we don't resolve all underlying issues.Plus, we're going on vacation in July, and if DH has any sperm issues, I'd prefer he avoid the hot tub

OB: That's not necessary. A hot tub won't affect his sperm count.

 Me: And as for bloodwork,  wouldn't it make sense to do a CD3 blood draw with DHEA-s and LH/FSH to rule out adrenal hyperplasia, since we know I'll be on CD 3 soon? 

OB: You present with typical PCOS symptoms. I don't think that's necessary.

ME: But in ultrasounds in the past, they have not noticed the typical string of pearls follies indicative of PCOS

OB: you don't have to have cysts to be diagnosed with PCOS.

ME: But if my DHEA-s is elevated, and it's adrenal hyperplasia, which presents with similar symptoms, the treatment would be different

OB: I don't think that's necessary- but if you insist... *sigh*

Infertility is expensive. I get that. DH and I are 100% OOP for all treatment. But for me, the extra couple grand is worth my long term reproductive safety.

OB’s specialize in keeping you pregnant, and making you un-pregnant at the end of 9 months. They are NOT fertility specialists- they’re surgical specialists. That’s why reproductive endocrinology is its own specialty.  You wouldn’t go to a brain surgeon to deliver your baby, just because they also know surgery. This is the same thing!