As I mentioned last Sunday, our sex life has been.... nonexistent since I'd say January or so. Provera and Megace both killed my sex drive, and I've spent quite a bit of time not wanting to have sex simply because I felt defective that I could no longer get pregnant.
It's been a SERIOUS sticking point in our marriage. I'm going to be honest, BRUTALLY honest. We've fought nonstop about sex, porn, and having our needs met for the past 3 months. No matter how hard I tried though, I just couldn't get into sex.
Welcome to Clomid Sex. I still haven't been totally "in the mood" but at least I feel like sex can be productive and there's a chance in hell that this month might be the lucky month. In my dream world we'd be having ED sex... and maybe even a few two-a-days for fun.
*gasp* I said it. Sex for FUN again.
And now DH doesn't want it. It's like pulling teeth to try and get laid. We were snuggling on the couch, and I was running my fingers up his thigh. He went to grab my hand, and I pulled away.
The conversation went like this:
DH: Baby, what's wrong
Me: nothing [/sarcasm]
DH: I thought you would want to hold my hand. You've been bitching about not being physical lately.
Me: (exasperated) I don't want to hold your HAND. I want to hold your PENIS... IN MY VAGINA.
And then I cried.
I just want my sex life back at this point.
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